Fractal Mindbending

Watched Inglourious Bastards last night and then got sucked into From Hell (Johnny Depp) until 2:00 AM. Subsequently I got up later that normal. Had to drive to Pueblo to get my laptop power cord. Called my grandad's widow on the way down. Dad on the way back. Got home with the intention to start work on my 15-minute short for Nate. Instead, I puttered around the Internet nearly the entire day. It was a wonderful day of discovery and fun.

As I write this I am listening to a soothing piece of looping music by Kevin MacLeod. The music is embedded into a neat site called Fractal Scape. I am mesmerized by the beauty and upbeat music of this kaleidoscopic web page. The visitor can change the pattern display by clicking any surface point. What intially caught my attention was the banner title that reads:

Remembering Childhood

You lived moments filled with exciting new journeys.

It is never too late to start again

 

The title kind of encapsulates my experience. I got entangled in the underbrush of some life sucking experiences when I was younger. Not until I was in my mid-forties did I begin to pull out the machette of positive self-talk did I begin to whack out a path that uncovered the lost city of personal creativity. As a kid and teen I loved to create things. I never really considered myself an artist. I just loved to make stuff. The process was enjoyable and satisfying.

 

The Splendor of Color: Kaleidoscope Video

Until I discovered Fractal Scapes, I never gave the word fractal a second thought. Tonight I looked it up on Wikipedia. There is, of course, a scientific definition for a fractal. What slapped me in the face was the Latin dirvation, fractus, which means "broken" or "fractured." The moving, even graceful transformations that occur on the Fractal Scape screen are the results of a breakdown of structure. A fracturing of one geometric shape into ordered chaos. Broken pieces displayed with beauty and complemented with a chipper musical theme.

 

My creative journey, no, my life journey is a series of fractured, broken events that are creating a collage of transforming beauty. How can I use this experience to stir up my creative core? To take a leap into areas that I may never experience? If I translate my life experiences and creative expression through the tool of visual fractalization I will invariably uncover new paths. Fractal mindbending is taking a thought and letting it grow in whichever direction it chooses. Brainstorming is like a mini-atom smasher. We smash our will into our brain and expect it to deliver new creations. Fractal mindbending is to allow your brain to go wherever it wants.

 

Seems like a much more non-violent way to produce new ideas. Still listening to Kevin's looping music.

The Creative Process: Stage Six - Showing

Eight days into the new year I did a little review of my goals today. I am pretty excited about my progress. Using an engine metaphor, I feel like I am hitting on all pistons. One of the reasons I know I am hitting my goals, is because I wrote them in my journal. In a way, I keep myself accountable to my vision for 2010.

In the process of writing scripts I think I developed an attitude that my work was only as valuable as it was marketable and sellable. What a load of nonsense. Sure, I would love to sell a script. There is also a level of personal pride to produce something that others value or appreciate. At the end of the day the greatest personal reward must come from the personal satisfaction of completion.

Gross over-simplification? Sure. I think we complicate our lives way too much. This is my take. If a person makes it through the five stages of the creative process, they should be proud to show their work. There are so many places to show your work. Perhaps you will get some great feedback from comments. If you belong to one or more of the countless online communities for your creative expression, engage there. Most of the time there are people there to offer good critque and support.

As I close thise series of blogs, I have several questions to ask of myself:

• Why do I write?
• What inspires me to seek other creative expressions?
• What do I want from it all?

I hope that some readers will follow my blog. The journey of creative discovery is best shared. My battery is dying. My power cord is 50 miles away at work in Pueblo. Guess I better put this to bed.

The Creative Process: Stage Five - Completing

Okay, I had a dose of my own medicine. I probably should not have started a week long series of blogs. Initially I intended to inspire myself to stick with a daily blog for a week to establish a good habit. Eric Maisel's six stages of the creative process seemed like a great place to start. Little structure, little me, little structure, little o me. Instead of inspiration I ran smack into a wall of mediocrity. 

Then I realized that the feelings I was having toward this creative process series was mirroring the actual process. Tomorrow I will finish the series. After that, who knows? This is a blog about appreciating the creative journey. Over the past few days I was inspired by a wealth of great input. So much so that I slept very little as my head swam in a sea of ideas. Oooo there is a graphic image!

Let's stick with Maisel's model. The mind's anxiety related to completing a work is the critical nature that we observe our progress. I know this problem so well as a screenwriter. In July 2008 I finished my first script: Crossover.  All the stuff I blabbed about for the past several days really happened to me. I had ideas. Mulled on them for months. Wrestled with structure and tools of the trade. But on July 30, I said "It is done." I was so jazzed that I went on to write three more scripts by March 2009.

Then I went to a Screenwriting Expo in LA put on by Creative Screenwriting magazine. There I learned a lot about the biz. I should have seen the post-conference blues coming. The reality of the industry took the wind out of my sails. I met great people. Learned a ton. Was validated to some degree. But somehow lost my motivation to rewrite my stuff AGAIN. In my preferred creative expression, the work is not truly complete until it is viewed by an audience on the big screen, small screen, computer monitor, or telephone.

Completing my work means that it is so compelling and business smart that a producer will turn my work over to other creative types to make a film, distribute it, make money from it, and live to make another film. For my scripts to reach the place where that is possible, I must be very critically minded. To help me be tough on my work, I purchased Will Akers book "Your Screenplay Sucks!" As if my own tendancy to self-debasement at this stage wasn't enough, I had to buy a book to bullet my failings.

Not really. Getting outside, critical feedback is absolutely essential for getting over yourself. I am on several screenwriting networks. I learn a lot from those great folks. What I have not done is let my work be critically evaluated. For my scripts to sell, they cannot be good...they must be great.

I am writing a short film for a friend so he can get something produced. Didn't I just talk about that on Tuesday? That project is due by February 1. That will get me back into full swing screenwriting. After that, my two babies get rewrites. At that point some select folks will get a peek. I will make some changes. Pay for script coverage. Then? Show and sell.

The Creative Process: Stage Four - Working

After the mini-chapters I posted the past couple of days, let me keep my thoughts simple today. Besides, I became so jazzed about blogging and the new things I am engaged in that I slept only four hours last night.

The working stage is marked at various times by the mind trapped in chaos. If experienced at the beginning of a project it might be expressed as writer's block or an empty canvas. For the life of you, you can't seem to lock in your next step. To get passed this phase of non-productivity you should consider some exercises that will free your mind. Here are a few well known mind-freeing (non-drug induced) exercises:

Visualize—See yourself working through the next stages to completion. Reinforce your vision by speaking what you see.

Brainstorm—Generate as many ideas as possible without rejecting a single thought for its absurdity.

Mind map—Use words, numbers, pictures, phrases, anything that comes to mind and watch connections grow.

Free writing, free drawing, free whatever —Throw structure out the window. Just use your medium and feel it.

Meditate —Empty your mind of the cares that ensnare your creative flow.

Sleep or power nap—Your mind needs rest. You work it hard!

Another problem I experience after I begin writing is to get bogged down in details. Any little thing out of order can throw me off. That kind of thing used to mess me up for days. I am discovering the value of working with chaos. Use your chaotic mind to discover new paths. Those random, seemingly chaotic, thoughts is your mind pouring over. Let it spill out long enough so you get down to the good stuff.

The Creative Process: Stage Three - Starting

YES. NO. MAYBE

Let's start with a little wake up.

Okay, you are into your new project. You are committed. Your reputation is on the line. If you didn't want to do the project or cannot because of a millions reasons, say NO. Maybe is not an option. All Maybe does is feed confusion, frustration, and procrastination. 

As much as I dislike categorizing by groups, I think I need to do so for clarity. There are basically four groups of creative types: The Professional (I get paid), The Hopeful (not getting paid yet), The Hobbyist (I don't care if I get paid), and The Skeptic (I don't have any talent).

The Professional
You know you are worth what you are paid. In general you manage your art as a business. The very first principle of the creative process is that you should want to do your project. "I am a professional artist. I don't have the privilege of choice." You sure the heck do. Your responsibity is to find personal satisfaction in the mundane. If you can't, then you need to find another outlet for creative expression. Don't gripe about your limitations. Stir up your creative core and deliver. That is why people pay you to do what you do.

Just as a reminder...there are thousands waiting in line to take your place.

The Hopeful
A basic principle of getting ahead in anything is to stay hungry. The trap most Hopefuls fall into is to give away their work...FOREVER. Eric Maisel says that the Starting stage is challenged by the anxiety of a weakened mind. For the Hopeful, the weakened mind is to surrender to compromise. You bust your butt to create a unique style and creative expression so that you can become a Professional. You know, get paid for your work.

A friend or smooth talker comes along and offers you a "chance" to do some work with them. You know, we all are struggling to get a reputation.  The solution to this problem is to show some backbone. If you are not doing work that will further your goals, then you are not going to reach your goals.

The Hobbyist
Congratulations! You are the child in the candy shop. Creative expression for you is an adventure. Start anything. Try everything your heart desires. Starting a project for you is like breathing air. Don't beat yourself up for not finishing one project or another. You don't have to hold up to the expectation of the Professional or Hopeful. Your art is fun.

Secretly, some Professionals wish they had your childlike fascination with creativity.

The Skeptic
This person has convinced himself or herself that they do not have a "creative bone in their body." I don't buy it. Everybody has creative talent. The typical question the Skeptic asks is "what good is it to be creative?"  Were you embarrassed in 7th grade because somebody made fun of your minimalist tie-dyed tee shirt? Geez, get over it! You have a creative core that is aching for expression. Do something. Anything! When the voices of your past start throwing doubts answer with "SHUT UP!"

Come on, just start doing something that is creative. If you aren't satisfied with the results, post a comment. We will work on it together.

The Creative Process: Stage Two - Choosing

Once the intrepid seeker of creative expression turns from wishing to action he or she will have to face choices. What do I create? Where can I channel my energy to experience pleasure instead of the constant pain of frustration? What are my resources to achieve some level of competence?

Many take the stereotypical approach of Sherlock Holmes and his violin. That is, insist to conquer an instrument of art regardless of the skill or lack thereof. Practice, practice, practice. We could spend unending hours trying to perfect a craft that is more a chore than inspiration. I know a lot of people that ooze their artistic expression in everything they touch. Then there is that large body of others that struggle to make stick figures and daisy doodles.

So, how do you choose your next project or creative expression?
As I pondered this question, I recalled a scene from James Cameron's film Avatar. Fully integrated into the Na'vi culture, Jake Sully must complete his right of passage to warrior status by domesticating a fierce Mountain Banshee. The banshee is a flying carnivorous  beast that resembles a prehistoric earth creature. Once a communication link is made with a Mountain Banshee (Ikran) by a biological connection, the creature bonds with it's Na'vi rider for life. The trick is that the rider must be selected by the Ikran. When Jake reaches the Ikran rookery, he asks the obvious question:

Jake: "How do I know if he chooses me?"

Neytiri: "He will try to kill you."

Jake: "Outstanding."

I don't think choosing our projects or creative expression should always be easy. We can play games in our head, perhaps putter around on scratch paper, bend a few paperclips together into a wiry sculpture, or tap a tune with a pencil on the desk but there comes a time when you have to commit.

Choice is about commitment.

If the treacherous climb to the place to choose your project doesn't kill you, the project itself is going to try. You have to be smarter than the project. Be stronger willed than those voices of opposition. Wrestle with your inner creative desire. Use the resources you have to create something. Don't invest a ton of money. The creative expression you perceive as yours may not choose you.

You will know you have the right project or creative expression. After you wrestle with the process for a while, your project will take flight. You will feel a release from earthly limitations. Time will seem meaningless.

You can experience oneness with your creativity.

The Creative Process: Stage One - Wishing

Over the past few weeks I mulled over my goals for 2010. I want achievable goals that bring me pleasure in their processes and satisfaction in their culmination. The first goal that came to mind was to "explore more creative expressions." While mind mapping in my journal, I began to see a pattern for achieving my first goal. Just start doing those things by taking early action to fulfill each expression.

The way I figure it, New Year goals are the starting point for what you want to do. I won't settle to just meet my goals...I want to exceed them! By that I am certain to find the pleasure and satisfaction that gives my goals setting and accomplishments meaning.

My game plan is to start with the advice of creativity coach and author, Eric Maisel. Maisel states in his book Fearless Creating that there are six stages in the creative process:

wishing
            choosing
                          starting
                                     working
                                                 completing
                                                                   showing

Each stage comes with its own set of unique human emotions. In the wishing stage we battle the hunger pang for self-expression. On one end of the emotional tightrope we tell ourselves things like "I wish I could do that." The other end is anchored with self-defeating self-talk that usually starts out with something like "Oh, I could never (fill in the blank)." Sadly, a lot of people never get beyond the wishing stage. 

Riddled with excuses and the burden of failed attempts, the wisher allows the compromises in their head to congeal into fact. Facts, regardless of their validity or relevance, are hard to resist for most people. The fact to elevate over your experience is that you have an internal drive sending neuroelectric demands to the brain to engage in the creative process. Artists, musicians, cooks, homemakers, engineers, accountants. Doesn't matter. This is the way we are wired. 

The most recent Weight Watchers advertising includes a cute furry monster that represents hunger. Women (at least that is the target audience) are supposed to reject the hunger critter by engaging in a Weight Watcher program. I am curious how the marketing campaign -- bar the New Year Resolution wave -- is earning ROI.

When it comes to the creative process, I say phooey on resisting hunger. Feed it. The hungrier you are to create, the greater the likelihood that you will move to the next stage: Choosing.